:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Tuesday, March 15, 2005 ::

I really don't like my job.

It continues to surprise me. I mean, I keep saying to myself, this is a BIG BOOKSTORE...this is your *dream*, kid! And then I look inside myself and there's this little voice, front and center, shaking its head decisively and telling me "Nope. Still sucks. You hate it."

I don't really know where to go from here. I kind of want to go back to school, but I'm worried in my heart-of-hearts it's only a combination of killing time and the drug-like pull of classes. Once I'm out a semester, I forget how bad it sucks and convince myself it didn't, and there I am, knee-deep in stress over homework again, and $300 poorer, to boot.

So. Here I am contemplating looking for another job and chiding myself all the while; My healthcare hasn't even started yet! But now my mom tells me about 99.9% of the things everyone was pushing me to the edge of sanity to get healthcare for aren't covered - they are "pre-existing conditions". Mom's been doing medical billing for about as long as I've been sans umbilical cord - if she says it, I'm inclined to believe her. So now everyone says lie. I take issue with that. Not from a moral standpoint, mind you, I have no morals - but from a personal safety standpoint. I don't want to be in the situation where I've had sickness x for 10 years and am supposed to be perscribed medication a, but instead have to tell the doctor I've had sickness x for 2 months and get perscribed medication b, which does nothing for long-term x and has leprosy-like side-effects. Get my point? And I'm sure as hell not going to be stuck paying out of pocket because I'm getting healthcare that everyone forced me to get in the first place. You have any idea how infuriating it is to have managed to stay in one piece for 22 years, have everyone and their brother start telling you that you are not, in fact, in the one piece that you most certainly damn-well know you are, and insist you leave your job to get a job which has this bloody-fucking-healthcare and now, after a month and a half of misery, come to find that it isn't going to do you a damn bit of good? Very, let me tell you. Grrrr.

Now that my blood pressure's up....sigh. Blogging is both good and bad at times.

Well, being that my job, my former standpoint of retail therapy, is now kind of, by definition, not therapy anymore, I've turned to the red circular french god, target (tar-jay), patron of yuppiedom and pastel michael-graves designed homewear. I strongly suspect I am, despite my best efforts, turning into a yuppie. I am far too at peace in their homewares section. I came home with a kitchen-set in a box (basically this one with more pieces). 70 pieces for 35 bucks, people. Ok, so the quality isn't write-home-to-mom kinda stuff, but hey. 35 bucks.

I've decided I'm going to try to pick up one thing (like the kitchen set) either every week or every other week for my eventual moving-out; which will hopefully be sooner than later. Sort of my trust-in-myself fund. A girl's gotta provide for her future.

Real Simple is a very good magazine.

Been picking up some vintage witches' almanacs on ebay. I eventually want a copy of every single one printed since the 70's. I think I may have gotten my hands on a copy of the very first. I'm waiting for it to arrive off of ebay.

I've been doing some heavy research into my credit-score thingie. Man, that shit rigged like a damn election. Do you know that if you have bad credit, they can legally raise your car insurance rates, even if you have always paid on time with the insurance company? How frigging stupid is *that*? I want to get my FICO score, which is like, the main credit score, the one they look at for houses and car loans kinda thing, but the site that I went to for it wants 50 bucks, and it's tied in promotionally with the book I'm reading, which makes me very wary indeed. I think I'm going to do a bit more poking around. Also, closing a credit card account actually hurts you, apparently. Wish Joey and I had known that.

Well, that's about all for now. Hope everyone is well!

~Fox
:: Fox 3/15/2005 04:49:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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