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:: Thursday, February 10, 2005 ::

Maybe I'll just start making this a once-a-week blog. Sheesh.

Well, I'm sick. Been coughing up a storm (among other unpleasant things) for about two days now, and, of course, my medical coverage won't start until like, a month and a half from now.

B&N is a great store, but the way they train their employees is a flaming disaster. Never have I felt more unprepared and less supported than I do in this godforsaken job. I left yesterday half in tears - the morning paperwork is extensive- TERRIBLY extensive, and I am constantly needed elsewhere...sitting down to do it in peace is not an option. I keep having to work through my breaks, both lunch and 15 minute ones, just to make sure that my things get done. The other head cashier, who's been there a month now, was telling me that she was nervous about opening alone for the first time. I just kind of blinked. I've been there a week and a half and I've opened alone 2 or three times, closed alone just as often. What the fuck is going on, here? Why am I expected to do so much that someone else in the same position isn't? Plus, I haven't even been *trained* as head cashier yet...there's this whole workbook thing that I had to rush through for the bookseller position, and when I was due for the head cashier one, nevermind that I wasn't even entirely comfortable that I had learned properly from the bookseller one, it just kind of got skipped over, despite repeated reminders to my managers whenever I had a bit of spare time to do them. I've never even cracked a head cashier book. ::growls:: It's fucked up.

Not only that, but I got my first paycheck...after taxes, and this is even BEFORE they start taking my healthcare out in a month, I make $6.70 an hour. Jesus frigging christ. Everyone's touting how much health care is worth and blah fucking blah, and you know what? I don't care. I'm just as stressed out at this job than the last one, gotta get up a fuckload earlier, I don't get out til a fuckload later, had to buy this shitload of expensive clothes, and I'm making LESS money even BEFORE the $20-a-week hit I'm going to take for Health Care, when I DO get it, and administration is just as fucked up as Luigi's was, only this time, I don't have the option of quietly taking the reins myself. Joey tells me I can't express my pay as "6.70 an hour after taxes" because no one talks about it that way...well, you know what? It's the same amount of fucking money in my pocket, however the hell you want to say it. Less money for a 40 hour workweek instead of a 30 hour one. Friggin great. Frankly, the only reason I'm staying is for this miraculous health care crap everyone seems to think cures cancer - nevermind that I haven't been to a doctor for a non-female-ish physical in roughly 5 years or so and I'm still walking, and the fact I need credit to get an apartment. Treehaven has become my goal in life. It's kind of sad, but I just feel that if I lived there, I'd be a lot happier and able to get a handle on things.

I got kicked out of my English Class for non-payment and I just left it that way. I'm really tired of school. I want a break. I talked it over with Joey and Dad, and I still hear the dissapointment in their voices, but I'm just going to have to take the hit. My sanity is at sake.

Not much else going on. I wish I could stop coughing. I've been playing Rocket Mania on Yahoo with tetris-like obsession.

~Fox

:: Fox 2/10/2005 08:45:00 AM [Say what?] ::
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