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:: Friday, July 09, 2004 ::
For Childless Yuppies Bored with Their Golden Retrievers
A heartwarming story, indeed. Grapevines in the Napa Valley, woefully 'unparented' can now be adopted by those with big hearts and eighty dollars to burn.
Water them? Nah. Prune them? Don't bother - according to the website, all you have to do is fork over more money and choose what form you'd like the lifeblood of your new 'child' to arrive in:
"Please note that with adoption, comes responsibility. Parents that adopt and will receive an email notice at the end of the year to renew their annual commitment. Payment of the invoice allows parents to continue choosing and receiving their appreciation items for the coming year."
And the close-up-shot-of-a-honduran-orphan cincher: "Failure to renew the parental commitment will allow the vine to be adopted by new parents. " That's right - once they hook you, they immediately blackmail you with the fate of your new adoptee.
Ah, America.
~Fox
:: Fox 7/09/2004 02:05:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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