:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Tuesday, April 20, 2004 ::

The world shifts from black to grey.

I don't get many moments where I am aware of life as anything more than a challenge for survival, so I have begun to treasure the few times where the sun seems to break from the clouds.

I don't rightly know what's amiss with me, where this apathy and pulling into myself began or ended. I only know that the weight is, at times, absolutely crushing. It's beginning to affect my life in a way I'm having a lot of difficulty managing, unlike times before. I don't really know what I'm going to do about it.

My classes at school are absolutely *tanking*. I've never had so much trouble in a semester before. My focus is nonexistent. I read and lose myself in books to keep the depression at bay, but at the end of the day I'm exhausted and sad anyway. I don't feel any loyalties to my studies at all, and I *struggle* with everything I have in me to reverse that. It's not just school...I don't really care about *anything* anymore. I eat in binges or not at all. I shower when a day has gone by. I wear clothes that fit. Everything I do has become by rote.

I'm doing my best to regain my old self, but I cannot shake the suspicion that I am losing the fight.

~Fox
:: Fox 4/20/2004 08:41:00 AM [Say what?] ::
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