:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Tuesday, April 06, 2004 ::

What a long, strange trip it's been.

I really do apologize for going MIA on all my readers (most notably B. Spider and my alpha) but I needed time to get my head straight.

After a so-so trip to New Orleans on Spring Break and a mediocre Chicago excursion, my soul remains unrevived and my heart dusty and ill-used. My boyfriend and I are at odds and each peace feels uneasy, sometimes. It seems to me that he spends less and less time with me, and he still maintains that all of his time is spent with me. We can't agree on it at all. It is my opinon that a 23 year old man should not need to go home every single day when he lives elsewhere. I don't know if it is my skewed perception or his constant (and misplaced, if you ask me) need to 'check' on his father and his fish that causes this disharmony.

When Jon and I broke up, I went through the usual ohpleasedon't loss of dignity, as I always seem to. I asked him what specific things were wrong, and for each, I offered a workable solution, trying desperately to salvage the relationship from a short and sudden demise. Jon looked at me and simply said, "What it comes down to, is that I think I am finding faults just to get rid of you and end us. Even if you fixed all of this, I would feel the same." And now, Joe drifts in that same harsh direction, and I spiral into the black oblivion of these minutiue.

~Fox


:: Fox 4/06/2004 03:40:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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