:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Wednesday, February 11, 2004 ::

So I haven't been blogging lately, I know.

When I'm depressed, it's very difficult for me to write daily, as I usually do, no matter how I motivate myself.

Joey and I are doing a little better. I think he's starting to understand me, and my intense frustration and habitual mistrust of internet 'friends', especially females, rather then just being frustrated himself all the time. He cares about me and just wants to stop advancing my mental decline. I do too. I can't be living like this, in this constant worry. I'm supposed to go to Chicago in a little over a month, for four days, and I know if I'm still like this the trip will be an absolute horror for me, full of paranoia and crying and night shakes. He needs to be more open about who he's talking to and what he's saying to them, and he needs to be more supportive of me, and loving. I've told him such. Those who don't know us probably would take the last few statements to the effect that I am a controlling bitch, but let me assure that I do enough for him that these wants are justified. I spend all my days by his side and do whatever he needs, and happily. I don't think it's so much to want to be happy as well. Men take good women for granted far too easily, and I feel that he is moving towards that.

Valentine's day, we shall see. He says he has something 'traditional with a twist' planned for me, and all I can imagine is cybernetic roses. Hopefully he heeded my long-ago warning against the perils of tackniess that are fake flowers. He actually wanted to have dinner with Dave and Cindy....I mean, when are men going to realize how important Valentine's day really is to a romantic woman? The only thing that stems my indignation is the fact we really do spend a massive amount of time together, but I mean, really...of all nights, to spend it with other people...come to think of it, we spent Halloween and our 6 month anniversary with Dave and Cindy too. Does he plan it this way, or what?

::sighs:: I don't know. I'm just torn up a great deal over a lot of things. I'm even considering quitting my job. I can't deal with the Bullshit anymore. There was a minor falling-out monday afternoon regarding the fact we *still* haven't gotten our W-2 forms and are STILL being paid 'what we would have made after taxes'. So much for being temporary. I really just want to quit and report them to whatever authority I can. My only fear lies in the fact that I'll lose my only current shot at a reference, but what can I do? I guess I can always ask Alicia for a reference. She was, technically, my manager on sundays a few times. Hm. That's an idea.

~Fox
:: Fox 2/11/2004 09:08:00 AM [Say what?] ::
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