:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Wednesday, December 03, 2003 ::

So, yeah. I crashed my car.

Pretty bad. I had a coughing fit on 34 going home from work and smashed it up pretty damn bad into the back of a pickup truck. Consensus is, it's totaled. I don't really want to talk about it. I'm pretty depressed. Turns out, the damn airbags didn't work, and apparently that neat little trick the seatbelt had since I bought it with the clicking meant it malfunctioned in the accident and my chest went into the steering wheel. I'm alright, but I had to stay in the hospital for a few hours so they could poke and prod me.

Thank god for Joey. Between he and mom, I managed to get through at least tonight. I have a cold and hollow feeling behind my eyes, and in the pit of my stomach...shame, guilt, self-chatisisment....a thousand bad emotions threatening to destroy what little grip on my mental stability I have. I have a thousand things I have to do, and while Joey's offered to lend me his old Grand Am, I'm frightened of it the way I was when I broke a wrist bicycling. I'm tired. I've been ignoring a rapidly deteriorating ability to cope with the day to day, and trying to push myself, I ended up in a very bad end. I just want to curl up and cry. A great deal.

My insurance rates are going to go up, I wasted the money dad gave me to buy the car because I crashed it, I have to worry about hospital bills.

(Author's note: this has been continued in the next post. I broke down the night I wrote this post and wasn't able to continue.)


:: Fox 12/03/2003 11:57:00 PM [Say what?] ::
...