:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, December 19, 2003 ::

I haven't had a moment to myself for awhile, so apologies for the lapse.

What's new? A lot of things, really.

Perhaps most life-changing to me is that my Mother was contacted by Don's mom yesterday. Don was my first psuedo-stepfather, responsible for a lot of my neuroses, two sprained fingers, and a lifetime aversion to drunkenness and what it leads people to do. He ruined at least three years of my life, and god knows what eventual impact he actually had on my mother's well-being.

He passed away in October. Cancer. What I had wished on him and what I had told people karma had brought him. He died alone, in a nursing home, in his mid-forties, after having lied to them and told them he had no surviving family. His mother had to find out by proxy.

I want to feel bad, but I only feel bad for my karma. That man ruined our lives, broke my mom's heart, and started the endless cycle for male acceptance and abuse that I've been going through the past 7 years. He's dead now. Gone. He can't hurt me any longer, but I can never face him. His ghost is free, and coming after me, perhaps, for speaking ill of him after death. I wept the day he left, because I felt he should have been my father, and I wept the day I knew he died, for reasons I'm still not entirely sure of.

School has been ridiculous. I've managed to fail MicroEconomics, but I kind of knew that. I'm just retaking it to erase the grade. Brit Lit is a C+ unless I do a post or two tonight, which I may. I have to turn in a paper for Intro to Biz tonight that I forgot to hand in, and Advertising is a B, and Occult lit is probably a B. Who the hell knows. At least the shit's over.

~Fox
:: Fox 12/19/2003 06:51:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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