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:: Saturday, September 06, 2003 ::

The uncensored convo I had with Dre over my possibly unjustified, but potent, complaints:

AtamaRav: well g;wan!
Foxfyre33: We're halfway out the door to get dinner, and his dad yells he's got a phone call. It's his friend Nichole.
Foxfyre33: Now, all I've heard of this nichole chick is that they used to hang back in high school and drink. Like, trysha drink.
Foxfyre33: So, all of a sudden our plans involve a hot tub.
Foxfyre33: All three of us are going to go use this hot tub at his work.
AtamaRav: ...???
Foxfyre33: He works for a hot tub place.
Foxfyre33: Anyway, we have to go home and get my swimsuit.
AtamaRav: right right
Foxfyre33: We go through the supermarket without buying anything, at which point he sees my apprehension about this sudden hot tub thing and decides to call it off.
Foxfyre33: He calls her, but hangs up and tells me she sounds really depressed and we have to do it now.
Foxfyre33: Already I'm getting that icky pit of the stomach feeling, you know?
Foxfyre33: So, we're leaving the supermarket and she calls him again, and this time he says, "okay, I'll come pick you up in like 15 minutes, ok?"
Foxfyre33: So I think he wants me to pick her up, since I'm driving.
Foxfyre33: He says he's 'really sorry, but she only wants to see him.' With the hot tub. At 11:30 at night.
AtamaRav: ....
AtamaRav: right right...
Foxfyre33: I drop him off, he's apologizing, I ignore it, and I drive home crying.
AtamaRav: what the fuck?
Foxfyre33: He called me today again to apologize, and I find out that they 'didn't go to the hottub' they just went drinking until 4 am...like that's supposed to make me feel better or something.
AtamaRav: the shit?
Foxfyre33: He turned down going to the improv with me at the beginning of the night because he was really tired and had to be to work at 8...
Foxfyre33: But yet he can go out with her until 4 in the morning...?
Foxfyre33: This REEKS of the marco-amanda situation, no matter how I try and justify it.
AtamaRav: bullshit, jesus christ what kinda guy does this kinda stuff?
Foxfyre33: Worse yet, she was upset because she ran into an ex.
Foxfyre33: So he has to drop everything, myself included, because she ran into an ex?
Foxfyre33: She's single, she's hurting, so in a female's eyes she's a liability.
AtamaRav: and did you EVER hear of this girl before?
Foxfyre33: Only the whole 'we used to party soooo much and get soooo drunk' bit.
AtamaRav: ahhh
Foxfyre33: He says this is the first time in 5 months they've hung out.
Foxfyre33: And yet she wanted to hang out with him again tonight, even though he has work tomorrow morning too.
AtamaRav: ...the hell...
Foxfyre33: So he's using that he's hanging out with me, even though I said I'm not going to see him tonight, as an excuse.
Foxfyre33: Lying to someone else so easily means he can lie to me.
AtamaRav: easily and clearly, yeah
AtamaRav: I really...wow, thats crazy, its not like hes even trying
Foxfyre33: So I don't know what to think.
AtamaRav: besides "This is fucked"
Foxfyre33: I was telling mom, it just feels like I'm constantly trying to justify or not take offense...been doing that for a month now..
Foxfyre33: Maybe fate's trying to tell me something here.
AtamaRav: what is it trying to say?
Foxfyre33: Either I'm hypersensitive and chasing shadows or he isn't the one.
AtamaRav: sounds about right...but wow, i cant believe people actually exsists that do this kinda thing

This is just raw emotion I was going on....internal monologue kind of stuff. I trust what Joe tells me, it's just, well, looking at the situation....you can see the outsider's point of view. He has every right to spend whatever time he wants with his friends...it's just the timing and the odd nature of the situation put me ill at ease.

I just don't know, sometimes.

~Fox
:: Fox 9/06/2003 03:19:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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