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:: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 ::

Vince came and visited last night.

I'm glad I got to see him...for awhile I was worried we were going to argue right up to when he left and I wouldn't get to see him again. Things seem truced again, so I'm happy about that.

He's been going through stuff I went through in the past, and it really seemed to get him down. I wished I could do something for him, but all I had was my own personal experiences, and the aforementioned stuff had happened to me recently, and I sprang back from it. I've been trying to coax him to smile and poke him to try and lighten his mood, but I realized when I was talking to him last night that he's going through what I was a few days ago - everyone trying to cheer me up and I just wanted to be unhappy and mopey for awhile. It's every person's given right to feel how they want to. If someone's dragging them out when they just want to lay in bed and sleep, sometimes that's good. Othertimes, healing doesn't come through forced socialization. There's a lot of times when I don't want to hear talk, and platitudes...I want someone to hug me and just be there.

My mom never really understood this...every time I'd go to her when I was crying, I'd get the speech about how there was little to no sympathy because I should be on meds, and she's not going to give any help until I see a doctor, and so on and so on. It's only enabling if you do it on a regular basis. I haven't hit any depressional lows since Jon that I couldn't pull out of. I'm on the other side of the fence now, looking my old sicknesses in the eye. I said goodbye to them a long time ago. I may still go off track now and then, but I know each time that I will be back, and shortly.

I've known Vince so long that it feels odd to see him going through something that I can't make go away. Even when I was in the depths of hell with Marco, he would tell me it's going to be okay...and, no matter how improbable that seemed, I was always able to believe it. Unfortunately, he's not so open to abstract thoughts in that vein. He just needs some time to heal on his own.

I know you read, Vince. I hope you're feeling better, and if you aren't, go curl up in bed for awhile - the world owes you a break.

~Fox
:: Fox 8/05/2003 09:41:00 AM [Say what?] ::
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