:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, August 08, 2003 ::

Another bad dream last night.

I was in Flordia, at some sort of workplace where there were phones outside. Joey was there, and a random guy with dark hair - apparently I worked with them. I forgot a lot of specifics, but essentially it involved the guy with the dark hair calling me on the outside payphones and sexually harassing me. The end of the dream was he and Joey laughing about it. I woke up crying.

I have no idea why I had that dream, but it really shook me up. I didn't even wake up crying from the cats-eating-baby one.

In other news, luck has given me exactly what I asked for, but now I don't think I want it. Part of me believes I am determined to be miserable and unhappy.

Andre also wrote a story. It is a good story. It involves the story of a winged heart pin I bought, and the day that Andre (cannibal), Dave (Giant), Ron (Ogre), Gym (Satyr), Trish (Blob), Jen (Malkavian), and me (Witchibus) hung out. I didn't hang out with Jen and Trish, though, but the guys did because they were supposed to go to Las Vegas the next day and they were seeing them off. The King Wizard's Shrine (Regal Theatres) is where Ron works and gets us in for free. I think that's all the background you need. It's REALLY freaking funny if you happen to know these people, which I do. Andre is comedic genius.

Bedtime Stories by
Mother Goose and Andre Grimm

Presents






The Winged Heart



A long, long, long, long time ago in a distant land where goats are free from being savagely suckled on and where the odd wigger creatures live, spouting out nonsensical rhymes, in the southern quarter where the fields are merely plain, an Ogre, a Giant, a Cannibal, Satyr, and a Witchubus all gathered.

They had all gathered to venture to the King Wizards Shrine, where dazzling images of fantasy and future melded on tapestry made from the finest silk and provided the most awe inspiring images in the land. Normally, one would have to pay a substantial amount of GP and had to do battle with Evil Creatures With No Names in order to gain access, but the Wizards had pity on the Ogre and permitted him and his closest compatriots to enter the shrine and see these wonderful moving charcuteries of the universe for free.

This day, the five of them were planning to once again lay sight on these images and sounds produced by the lands finest wizards, but, after the perilous journey into the Ogres lair to retrieve him was done, the Witchubus had realized that her valuable trinket, her Winged Heart, was missing!

For what seemed like an eternity (by eternity I mean 5 minutes) the 5 of them (by that I mean 2, maybe 3 of them) had searched all over (by that I mean the car, I mean, wagon) to find the item. The Witchubus grew into a sad state over the loss of her recently purchased tchotke. She had just purchased it form a popular and well-known Witches Shoppe the day before! O, how she did miss the Heart, gold in make with wings that reached towards the heavens and beyond, with a single shard of ruby, delicately crafted and placed within its centre, how she did miss it so. It was pinned to her Witches Bag, guarded by the Bear of Large Features. The Cannibal and the Witchubus both presumed that the Heart was lost for good, entrenched in some murky depths or perhaps devoured by some horrific creature within the Ogre's Lair, possibly by the Broose Monster, the supposed Step Dad to the Ogre.

Heads held low, they went off.

And time passed...

And a Long Long Long Long Time ago merely turned into a long long time ago (last night).

During this day and eve, the fiery headed Witchubus (known still to have consumed the souls of a million men, and perhaps one or three women) the portly but good minded Satyr (known still to have low confidence rivaled by no one) and the ultra sexy (ahem) and Swarthy Cannibal (known still to maintain decent humorous dialogue once in a few blue moons) journeyed to the crimson and cultural splendor that is RedBank. The day was long and full of mirth, and soon the Witchubus tired of her juvenile partners and was dropped off at her coven, where she did naughty illicit things too dark and mysterious for any word that can be conjured by mortal men...

The Satyr and the Cannibal, however, replaced their ranks with the golden haired Giant (still known to be of few words lest only importance can be provided from his sayings) and ventured off unto the Saddening Swamps of Sorrow, a dreadful location located south of the plain fields, and filled with horrors and insanity's man was never meant to see...

There the intrepid trio had to garner enough good wishes to see the Gelatinous Blob (known to have consumed MANY a male genitalia in random orifices of its body...) off on a continent long adventure that will see her and her pseudo friend engage in sinful delights in the City in the Desert. But that part is not quite important, really...

To celebrate the Cubes leaving us, the Satyr, the Giant, the Cannibal, the Blob and the Blobs closest friend, the Malkavian (known still to be completely off her fucking rocker and to be currently banging the Knoll of the Plain Fields known as The Fasolo) went to Ye Olde Dunkin' Shoppe, where many pleasant but many more unpleasant events have taken place and many many more unpleasant memories were formed due to present company...

Inside this Shoppe that was always continuously run by some form of Minority (from the land Minori, or India, whatever you prefer) they all sat and talked. Tensions were at a constant high due to rivalry between the Satyr and the Malkavian, the Satyr and the Blob, and the fact that the Giant had to work on his Reconstruction Paper for Giant U. The Cannibal, as is common in such instances, had to play peacekeeper/moderator.

Id the midst of idle chatter and uncomfortable silences, the Cannibal looked about the room, hoping to find something more interesting to his flesh-thirsty eye, when his eyes became transfixed on something 'neath the Giants shoe...Now, the Cannibal was used to finding unusual remains under the sole of the Giant, him being a Giant and all. Really, it's to be expected of someone of such an unnatural height to constantly and randomly have the squished remains of small folk, villages, woodland creatures and whatnot...but not ALL of them are shiny (save that unfortunate business with the Golden Egg laying Beaver, but we shouldn't go into that for awhile, heads are still a bit ablaze over that little bit of unpleasantness) and not all of them are still solid, despite being firmly placed under a Giants foot!

With a quick activation of the famed and Cthulhu-like ability of "Option B" ::angels sing and clouds part for the utterance of such a divine string of words, or a word and a letter, or maybe even the quotes, who knows:: the Cannibal deftly avoided the tiresome conversation and poked and prodded at the golden object under the Giants enawmous (said with a southern accent for no reason) foot and came back with the pinned object: The Golden Chalice!

Unfortunately for the Cannibal, his memory is quite...flawed, his mind is quite stingy when it comes to what it wants to remember and forget, the divide between the two seem to be 10/90 in favor of what to forget Vs what to remember...so his mind raced (By race i mean threw a bunch of random images in his head, hoping one of them would be the right memory, so it wouldn't have to be awakened by the Cannibals constant insistence to try and remember something that happened more than 2 minutes ago).

(As a quick tangent, do you ever think it's weird in stories and whatnot when you see a WHOLE paragraph in parenthesis? You usually see them in formal and official documents, reports and thesis and college shit, you know? I just think that's utterly weird, caging a WHOLE paragraph in between two curves. I guess it's to give the little bastards some purpose in life, I mean more people use them these days as the smiles or frowns in smileys rather than their original purpose as grammatical enforcers...what a downgrade. However, now that I think about it, that's somehow a perfect metaphor for Corey Feldmans career, at least the way i see it...well sorry, continue on!)

Finally, the memory was placed! It was not the Liberated Jade Sprite Poster of Keansburg, or the Incessantly Annoying Singing Valentine Box (also of Keansburg, oddly enough) it was the Witchubus' Winged Heart Pin! Another victory!

Soon after that night, the pin was delivered, and the slaughter of innocents by the Witchubus (by slaughter I mean kicking REALLY HARD in the shins. REALLY REALLY HARD, it, like, left a bruise and everything) was put to a halt. And the land smiled with satisfaction; all was safe in the world again.

The Ogre continued living in his cave, occasionally coming out from his imaginary (and suck ass) world of 'EverQuest' to work at the local King Wizards Shrine, if only to pay for his addiction to hallucinations (with bad graphics and a ludicrous fighting system, CHRIST why does ANYONE play those Dark Elder God Awful things)?

The Giant continued to unwittingly lay waste to smaller villages unlucky enough to be placed in the way of his tall, skinny, path. He also sometimes bothers the Cannibal while he is at his abode.

The Satyr continued to be the brunt of many of ye olde jokes whilst oversleeping, completely overshooting times he was supposed to hang with his compatriots. And no, as of the time of this writing, he has YET to get any Satyr Ass. Dag.

The Blob, unfortunately for the populace, is still in the area. Her trip was canceled due to a foul up...perhaps another adventure is in the midst for heroes brave enough to vanquish the evil...

The Malkavian is still fucking nuts.

The Cannibal continued his flesh-and-blood induced path of destruction, consuming the meat off the bones of several hapless villages, and a few, odd, hapful ones. He has no real monetary income still but he does swim a lot to make up for it. Somehow, that makes...sense...

The Witchubus? As always, her exploits are shrouded in mystery (or is that cigarette smoke? I was wondering why I always cough when IM around that crap. It's a shame her exploits are chain smokers) so who knows the TRUE goings ons of the Witchubus? Only her, her victims, and the readers of her enchanted tome ('Blog' she calls it) know what she is doing for certain...





~Fox
:: Fox 8/08/2003 01:08:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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