:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, June 13, 2003 ::

Note: This is the text of my Lavalife ad, verbatim:

" Disclaimers: (A.K.A. my name is not 'hey sexy')

NO MEN OVER 26 - Please, I'm only looking for men *UNDER* the age of 26 and over 18! (HOW YOUNG YOU 'LOOK' OR 'ACT' IS OF NO CONCERN OR CONSEQUENCE TO ME - IF YOU ARE OVER THE AGE OF 26 I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU.) Thank you for respecting my wishes.

LOCAL MEN ONLY. I don't drive yet. I will soon. Local means in New Jersey and willing to drive to my area (Central NJ, Monmouth County). New York City is pushing it, but I don't mind taking a train. Anything further than NYC is out. Again, sorry to be particular, but it makes no sense to talk to a great guy if I can't meet him!

If you type like this: "U r so hot n ur so sexy" you'll be ignored. I can't *stand* that. Grammar counts, boys. I can type legibly, and here I have proved it. Have the same courtesy for me?

MY BACKSTAGE PICTURES AREN'T NUDE. Don't send me nude pictures unsolicited and act offended when I have none to trade.


Likes: Fellow pagans (*pagans*, not 'wiccans'), long haired boys, gothic guys, singers, non smokers, intelligent people, and a touch of BDSM. (I like Chai and the poems Desiderata, The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, and Invictus. Huge poetry/literary buff.)

Deal Breakers:
DRUG USERS - (for the love of god I can't stress this enough. If you smoke pot, do E, drop acid, whatever - don't waste my time, you'll be ignored. I've never tried drugs and I'm looking for someone who hasn't either.) DADS (Kids rock, but I want to have them on my own time!)

I like people that bother to make an intelligent impression.

I'm foxfyre33. TAG! YOU'RE IT! Come find me."



And this is the IM conversation I had with someone on the site.




Wow I read your ad, and I must say without a shadow of a doubt you are the most ridiculously demanding girl on here! lol Do you really feel like getting on a personals service and then acting like "the shit" is going to bring the guys running? Just c

From: JAYPH curious.

From: JAYPH And I don't mind if you don't answer. If you're really looking for an intelligent guy, 26 is a rather narrow age limit. lol

To: JAYPH I don't think I'm 'the shit'.

To: JAYPH This is actually my honest wants. And an experiment.

To: JAYPH homestead.com/foxfyresden/experiment.html if you'd like to see.

From: JAYPH this is good!

From: JAYPH yeah thanks i may check it out later

To: JAYPH Sure thing.

To: JAYPH I've noticed only the men outside my limits get angry at them.

To: JAYPH Very interesting.

From: JAYPH well thats because your limits are contradictory. Intelligence, yet youth. And the language in the ad is offputting! haha

To: JAYPH I am young and intelligent. I see no reason that I can't ask for the same.

To: JAYPH I am only 20, and I can talk circles around the majority of responses I get.
From: JAYPH You know I actually believe that, but you're not going to get that from most younger guys. And its like you discriminate because of age.

From: JAYPH I can spot a molestation survivor when I see one

To: JAYPH I think you may need to get your glasses checked, then.

From: JAYPH nah my blood pressure maybe but not my glasses



Yes. A molestation survivor. Because nothing justifies my existence like having some 27 year old yahoo, put out by the fact that he's old by my standards, pins me as someone who has been molested, thereby insulting me, my parents, and every adult figure of my childhood in one fell swoop. If there was an asshole award, I'd be setting up the presentation ceremony as we speak.


What I would give for a crack team of ninjas.

~Fox


:: Fox 6/13/2003 09:05:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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