:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, March 14, 2003 ::

Yet another dating site rant.

Guys, using whipped cream/strawberries and/or chocolate in bed is NOT KINKY. For the love of god stop touting it around as it the Marquis De Sade should be green with envy. No one cares about your pathetic little attempt to sound carnally worldly. It isn't as if guys haven't been doing this for CENTURIES now. You should be ashamed trying to pass this off as something we should reward you for. This is not originality. This is the cliffs notes, the bought-on-the-internet term paper, the cheat sheet of sexual "kink".

Also, your self-proclaimed title of best muff-diver in the tri-state area does absolutely nothing for piquing my interest. It also has not escaped my notice that you choose to mention this oh-so-fascinating tidbit just as I get done blowing you off. Here's a hint- if I'm blowing you off, the last thing I'm going to care about is your sexual prowess. When I tell someone to fuck off, it doesn't have anything to do with whether or not he can satisfy me behind closed doors - it means I find something crude, vulgar, distasteful, or unlikable about his character or personality. Telling me you're really good at going downtown is not only going to fail to change my mind, it is going to convince me further that I have made the correct choice in ending my conversation with you. I know in your own little delusional world, on this side of the computer I pause, and say to myself "Hm...I really think this guy is obnoxious, but maybe if I put my own morality and sense of judgement aside, I may get to sample his incredible self-proclaimed talent..." but you know what? This is my reality, not yours, and it doesn't happen. Deal.

~Fox
Penny for your thoughts?

:: Fox 3/14/2003 07:20:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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