:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Thursday, February 27, 2003 ::

Fucking taurine crashes are the worst.

I have SUCH a huge amount of depression right now it's ridiculous. It's like tonight was this night where I needed something that I was completely unable to define. I thought I wanted company, but when Dave and Laura called from the radio station and asked if I wanted them to come over, I didn't. Then I was talking to Craig for awhile but he had to go to bed. Then I decided I wanted male company, and Mark's at work. Then I tried to find a random guy to talk to online and they're all fucking morons tonight. Then I got to thinking about Jon and I guess I *do* kinda still miss him from time to time, or at least the security he represented, so then I end up crying and make a mess out myself.

So, in a further experiment of pain, I threw together a goth playlist on kazaa and I'm listening to a group of songs where every other clearly brings up memories of Marco and the SOD days back in late 2001. Fucking hell.

I really hate my life at the moment. I get it together for a week, max, and then it crumbles again. I feel like a fox with a broken paw trying to drag it's half-dead body away from a hunter moving much too quickly in the wake. I don't really know what to do...hell, what I can do, at this point. All I know is that I'm falling back into the pit and it's swallowing me alive.

~Fox
Penny for your thoughts?

:: Fox 2/27/2003 10:19:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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