:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Tuesday, January 21, 2003 ::

There comes a time in every life when the individual perception about what is right, or correct, is called into question.

It is not always a tragedy that forces us to take a step or two back and glance upon our lives and realize, perhaps, that we've been doing everything wrong. Sometimes a very rare and frightening new wonder descends onto our sleepy little existences and honestly forces us to re-evaluate everything we took for granted.

There is very little in this world that frightens me, and that is meant to be written without arrogance. There are very few times that I will take a step in honest darkness and honest trepidation. We all have our fears, but for the most part we know that we can face them and not be any more hurt than usual, that they are mere moments of familiarity-waiting-to-be-manifested rather than huge and immense life-changing events.

There is something liberating about breaking the mold and shattering it to dust. Something thrilling about destroying my own inborn concepts about what the world should be.

And for the first time in my life, I am equal parts fear and joy.

The trivial things like my sudden admiration about the same boy trish coveted make me ashamed that I am truly that shallow at times. I don't want to be like that anymore. I don't want sudden love, even in the face of it. I want to be a whole person, and not some half of a spirit, constantly searching for the piece, the key, the person that will complete me. Which is not to say that I have convinced myself that I have cured myself of weakness, because I know myself a bit too well for that. I can only hope I may be on the right path to it this time.

~Fox Mackenzie
Penny for your thoughts?

:: Fox 1/21/2003 12:23:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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