:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, November 15, 2002 ::

So, for those of you wondering, I went to Flordia.

Random, I know, but Dad was going and pulled me with for a change of scenery...thought it would do me some good.

It didn't, really, but at least I don't want....him...anymore. I was surprised at how easily the memory was shoved away from me. I didn't want it, so it wasn't there. My heart remembers this process much more vividly than I would have given it credit for. I'm better now. I want someone, sure, but it no longer has to be him.

I entertain notions, correspond where I can with the young men from various dating sites. I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to jump in feet first, to be honest, but I know that's the only way I'll truly be over it. I mean, he sure salved his wounds real fast with her, so why should I sit here and taste at my own blood when I could be stirring it up instead?

I've figured I've been dating stick men for too long. Skinny little twigs that couldn't physically defend my honor if they had to. I don't want a man I can lift up in the air without breaking a sweat. It's downright pathetic. That's why I'm considering turning to my alpha. He's 6'10 and fully capable of remaining on the ground despite my efforts. He isn't intimidated by my height and strength, unlike *some* insecure shall-not-be-named people of the past. He accepts me for who I am, not for what I could be 20 pounds lighter or a foot shorter. He's a good man and a good friend who's been right there beside me for all the troubles of the heart. I salute him.

But who knows where the future leads? I only know it doesn't lead backwards anymore.

~Fox Phoenix Mackenzie


:: Fox 11/15/2002 09:44:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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