:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Wednesday, November 20, 2002 ::

Jason came over again last night. We watched Momento...very cool movie! I liked the plot and the storyboard lineup. I'm glad Jason hangs out with me...takes the edge off the lonliness quite a bit. He's a good listener and very playful, which lifts my spirits.

I went out with Brian the other night, the guy I was waiting to hear back from off of hotornot. He's gorgeous, with long hair and everything. And he's a chef. Problem is, he doesn't seem interested by much of anything. I mean, we drove around and hung out at his house and I enjoyed his company, but he seems nonchalant about life in general. His birthday was yesterday and I dropped an email wishing him a happy one, but it was received with the same aloofness. It's a real shame.

I'm talking with a few other boys these days, but nothing promising. It's very difficult to find decent dating material around here!

In other news, I'm still jobless, though I am looking as hard as I can. I've decided I don't want to work weekends or nights, and I just won't. I need to have a normal social life with normal social availability for a change. None of this weekend shift bullshit. I don't want to have to ration my good times for the occasional sunday off.

I'm going to go back to school when I'm god-fucking-damned good and ready. I'm *so* sick of doing things that alter my life for the sake of other people, and I'm just not going to do it anymore. My life's been trashed enough, I don't need someone pushing my hopes farther into destruction. So, I'm *not* planning on scrambling to get enrolled for the january semester at brookdale, and that's *that*.

My life? Dissatisfying. And I'm unsure how to fix it.

~Fox Mackenzie



:: Fox 11/20/2002 02:07:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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