:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Tuesday, October 01, 2002 ::

An uneasy peace settles, and history threatens loudly to repeat itself.

I try, god how I try, to not worry, to move on and be brave and work on rescuing rather than pleading...but to no avail. The lowborn should not fall in love with the highborn, because it always comes to this. The eternal struggle, the eternal defference. Why is it only the lowborn who understand love? That it should be like an island in a storm, a place of refuge always...and that, as long as it lives, everything will be allright? It is never something to be analyzed, to be dissected,it is something taken and held as a whole. He weilds his scalpel, and I weild my faith, and we are at an impasse.

I am a good woman now. The soul-thief Fox has be quieted, I live for honesty and hard work. I work and struggle through classes, work and struggle through my job, and I come home to laundry and cleaning. I am a childless mother. ::sighs deeply:: I long with all my soul for the moment this uneasiness is done and he and I can go back to the way we were. I have mended what he claims to have problem with...with great pains I have mended it. I have put away all the beautiful celebrations of my sensuality. No more books in sight, no more arts of leather to turn through my hands. I have cleaned our home as best as I am able, I have made time for him. I have done all he has asked, and he still turns from me at night. It is autumn outside, and winter in my heart.

I offer a last prayer to you, Mother Kuan-Yin. Your child returns to you, bloodied and battered by what was to be life's greatest gift...I bow my head as I did a year ago, and whisper the same words once more. My hands are clasped in the same prayer...a prayer for peace, and to know love, at last. He is my golden gift, my Jon. I have pledged my soul's promise to stay by his side, and this is a choice far greater than any base act the betrayer took from me. Grant my restless soul the peace of love or the peace of death. I cannot survive in this torrent of emotion.

~The three.
:: Fox 10/01/2002 08:01:00 AM [Say what?] ::
...