:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Friday, October 18, 2002 ::

Okay, things are level. Fun roller coaster ride, isn't it?

Here's my recent conclusions:

I'm not fucking up my camera anymore.

My boyfriend loves me, only me, and loves me a lot and is glad we're together.

I think my (female) coworker may have the hots for me. This bothers me.

I have schoolwork to do for my intro to college class and I should be doing it right now because it was due Monday but oh well.

My old friends actually are concerned for me because the sniper's in my neck of the woods, and, well, frankly, that's touching.

I'm going home for thanksgiving and seeing my old friends, mom, and Jowwy.

Jon's pasta sauce should be sainted. It's that good.

I'm running out of anthologies to read.

Taking the bus is a pain.

And last but not least, again,

My boyfriend loves me.

My ex is being pissy because he wanted to talk the other night and I didn't, and he nudged, so I told him that I was having problems with Jon and listed them, and then he comes out with "I've been too fucking nice for too fucking long, you deserve this and now you know how I felt." and signs off. But you know what? I don't care. Personally, I think he's upset because his latest girlie couldn't make it up to see him, so he's falling back on his old standby of reminding me what a bitch I am. Makes me feel real good, mmhm. Like karma didn't knock me on my goddamned ass after Marco or anything. Not like I had to learn how to walk again, eat again, speak again, use the bathroom again because I quite literally had no will to live or anything. We went through a lot together, he and I. I did love him once, and just because I don't anymore doesn't mean I don't consider him my best friend. I just thought we were platonic. Apparently, he still loves me. I don't really know what to make of it. I honestly didn't think he still carried a torch, only fond memories. He's had girlfriends since me and seemed to enjoy himself, so I didn't think too much of it. I suppose there isn't much I *can* do.

I called my grandma the other day...she was actually in good spirits, wonder of wonders. I told her about school and work, and she seemed pleased. I'm glad...she deserves to have a little peace in her old age, after all. I love her.

I'm looking forward to seeing mom again, even though it's only been a month. I haven't been home for about 3 months now, and I miss it. I wanna see my birdies again :). I don't know if I'm going to try and bring stormy or not. I don't want to traumatize the poor thing. He's had enough hardship, goodness knows. I'll talk to Jon about it.

I really should do my schoolwork, but dinner calls :) Ciao!

~Fox "Procrastinatrix" Mackenzie





:: Fox 10/18/2002 09:53:00 PM [Say what?] ::
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