:: Searching for Puck... ::

:: Wednesday, January 30, 2002 ::

Ugh, well..it sucks to be a kitsune.

Chaos has already caught up with me. I thought maybe I'd outsmarted it by traveling north, but nope. It's found me in just over a week.

For those of you who are unaware, a kitsune is a japanese fox-spirit. They can be both wicked and benevolent, and are known for being especially attractive (in the sense of drawing people to them) and wise. After they live for 100 years, the legend goes, they are allowed to inhabit a body. Those quick readers of mine out there can probably already put two and two together. I've got one. She's very helpful, for the most part...I'm never wont for company or attention, I have the ability to councel people on many problems...all the good stuff. But, a kitsune tends to attract chaos, along with a lot of men. Perhaps I'm repeating myself.

In any case, any household a kitsune stays in for a period of time is more often than not launched into a very tense and argumentative state. It's why I haven't stayed in any one house more than two years in my past decade of life. My mom's been divorced twice and was on the brink of another before I left for Boston.

And last night Rog's dad blew up because there were dishes in the sink. I had made a pot pie and some cornbread for dinner, and worked pretty darn hard at it, and even gone so far as to do the dishes that were previously in the sink before making more. I had also done laundry, cleaned up the living room, and went out and bought laundry detergent, hangers, a pie pan (to make dinner) and eggs. I put the eggs in the little cubbies for them in the fridge. I had relayed messages that rog jr had to go pick up katie, and watched her while he took a shower...it had been a busy day. And then Rog's dad came home and started yelling that I had to leave his kitchen alone from now on...

I started crying. I couldn't help it. I tried not to, but Rog was hugging me and asking me what was wrong and I just dissolved.I came up here with delusions I'd be needed. I thought it'd be me and Rog and katie, and I could help and be loved. But now I see I'm just kind of underfoot. It was stupid of me. Glen's right...that you shouldn't let emotions dictate where you're going to stay, your life course, etc. So now I don't know what the hell I'm going to do. I feel like a complete intruder in this house now.

~Fox "Soul-searching" Mackenzie
:: Fox 1/30/2002 09:51:00 AM [Say what?] ::
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